First Weeks Of Life

Where do I begin?

The baby (I really need to find a bloggity name for him) is happy, healthy, and growing like a weed.  We have the semblance of a daily routine.  We are surviving and sort of accomplishing things most days.  We went to his first Renaissance Fair!  He has given us his first smiles.  We have learned that we definitely need more bottles.  No progress has been made on any house cleaning.

DH is back to work from his paternity leave.  I’m very bummed about it.  We’ve enjoyed our time together so much.  The baby was just icing on the cake.  It’s the longest we’ve gotten to spend together since block leave when he left for deployment.  We found it sorta sad that I had to push a screaming human out of my hoo-ha to get that kind of time together.

My mom came down this past weekend, and it was so refreshing and lovely to have her around.  I’m very taken aback by how much I want my mom here.  I really want to show off my little nugget, but I’m really, really wanting my mom’s company too.  Baby’s do weird things to people.  I never thought I’d be wanting my mom like this.

DH’s mom was here the first weekend, and the visit turned into a disaster.  It’s way, way too complicated to go into right now.  The short version is she monumentally overstepped some boundaries.  I’m very angry about it still.  It’s going to be one of those things that takes me a very long time to come to terms with, which makes me even madder because it will forever be linked to my first memories with my lil boy.  Ugh.  The whole situation pisses me off.

I’d like to save my first thoughts and feelings about birthing and motherhood for a separate post.  They deserve their own space and time to breathe, but I wanted to let everyone know that we’re hanging in there.

Baby Update–Done!

DH and I were excited to meet our beautiful baby boy last Friday.  He decided to come two weeks early, but everyone is healthy and happy and getting to know each other at home.

My first thoughts:

  1. Tiny baby feet on you is one of the best things.
  2. Milk burps are really stinky.
  3. I really wish my house would clean itself.
  4. Thank goodness for Skype.
  5. Diaper changes are worse at 2 a.m. in the dark without glasses on.
  6. This kid keeps getting cuter.
  7. I can’t believe we got a boy.
  8. Stretch marks itch!
  9. Swollen feet are the most unattractive thing ever.

The First Few Days

The man is home…and currently on his 14th hour of sleep.

The massages have been scheduled.  It’s something my family always does for our Soldiers (we have several) when they come home after a long absence.  They all love it.  Couples massages are great too.  We love it as a way to reconnect and have quiet time together.  Plus it’s like a huge reward and treat for all the hard work you did while you were apart.  It’s stressful whether you think it was or not.

Only two duffles, an assault pack, and his kit this time.  Laundry might be done by next weekend.  Whoo hoo!

Next up is the grocery list.  He’s always craving something when he gets back, and geographical bachelorette refrigerators just don’t fly with my carnivore husband.

The routine is kinda nice.

Random Episode #111

What has everyone been up to?  It seems like we’ve all been too exhausted to blog much lately.  I don’t know about you guys, but I’m blaming mine on this huge belly I’ve been lugging around.  I’m down to about 7 weeks left, which is great because my belly is outgrowing my maternity work shirts at an astonishing rate.  Other baby planning is going well.  I’ve picked up lots of stuff at local thrift stores.  There are so many great finds there with tags still on them.  We’re missing a crib and a car seat/stroller, so that’s kinda important.  I’m going to try and hit some stationary stores in town looking for fantastic paper for birth announcements this Saturday.  I’ve been on meds now for a few weeks, and I’m feeling alright.  I’m almost even getting excited.  I’m hoping to keep up the momentum so my nerves don’t get the better of me as the day creeps closer.

DH is out training, so I’ve been lounging around home getting lonely.

I got some of my veggies started for the spring.  I have cucumbers for pickling, green beans, and potatoes started.  I want to get a tomato plant, a pepper plant, and strawberries maybe this weekend.  It’s going to be fantastic!!  There’s a tater tub thing at Walmart that I’m trying this season.  It comes with everything for like $12ish and grows fingerling size potatoes all in this black bucket with a lift out insert to check on the potatoes as they grow.  I’m super excited to see if it works out.  Oh, and I’m sure I’ll pick up some flowers sometime too, but I want to maximize my veggie growing season before it gets too hot down here.

I’ve been reading a ton of great books, but I want to give those their own space.  So…just wait longer.

My parents came and visited about two weeks ago or so just for the weekend.  We had a great time, although we didn’t really do much.  We went and saw Riverdance, and I was a bit bummed because I’ve seen it once before and this time it seemed like a slimmed down version.  It wasn’t a grand feeling like it was last time I saw it.  Anyway, we did a lot of non-baby things and some baby things, so it was a nice mix.  Short but sweet.

Ugh, taxes are here again.  My W-2s got all screwed up, so I’ve been waiting on those to get corrected before I can start.  And for some reason two of my interest bearing accounts didn’t send me 1099-INT forms this year.  Seriously??  Is the universe trying to stress me to the max right before this baby gets here?  I hate tax season…

So that’s what I’ve been up to.  With DH out on a suck-fest right now, maybe I’ll get reacquainted with the blog world.

Mean Census

Did anyone else just get a census supplement in the mail?

It says right on it that my address was chosen and not me, but it sure seems like every place I’ve lived I end up being “randomly chosen.”  And is it just me or are these census questionnaires really personal?  They want to know how much I paid last month for electricity and what time I left for work yesterday.  I don’t know these things!

But these census questions really bum me out because right on the front it says “do not include anyone who is living somewhere else for more than 2 months, such as…someone in the Armed Forces on deployment.”  Oooo…ouch.  Poke a gal while she’s down why don’t ya.  I understand that most of the questions don’t apply if the person isn’t home, but this is his home.  I want to count him as part of my total number of living at this address.  And 2 months for a military family isn’t very long.  He doesn’t have to be deployed to be gone 2 months.  He could be off training somewhere.  DH is gone now for what looks like 6ish weeks, and that’s prior a regular ol’ deployment that’s creeping up on us.

I guess it’s good that military families can document what their households look like and how they run, but geez, it reminds us how lonely they look like too.

Lovey Thoughts

I just finished DH’s Valentine’s surprise.  On the years we actually celebrate, we don’t buy each other things.  We like to make things for each other.  This year I made two index cards with stick figures, one soldier and one preggo.  The preggo is dropping hearts out of a bucket for the soldier to follow.  It’s corny, I know, but I folded them up and slid them into his wallet for him to find at work tomorrow.  We aren’t big celebratory people usually, but this idea tickled me.

Sometimes the smallest, silliest idea makes someone feel the most loved.  Just make sure it feels like it came from you.  Hope everyone has a great V-day tomorrow.

Baby 4.5

So much to catch up on and so little time!  I’m going to make an effort to get some stuff down here soon.  I’ll limit this to a mostly beebs update.

Beebs is doing good. … So yeah, not much to report really.  I’m growing like nobody’s business.  I’m full maternity clothes and the whole shebang.  I’ve started feeling him wiggle around here within the last two weeks.  We have an ultrasound coming up, and I’m really excited to see how much bigger he’s gotten.

As it looks now, it doesn’t look promising that DH will be in town for the birth, and I’m totally devastated.  I know it’s not for sure, but I’m completely broken up by the thought that he might miss it.  It’s a memory and feeling that cannot be recreated, and I think it’s absolutely unfair that it could get taken from us.  I feel so angry at the Army.  I know and accept that birthdays and holidays will be missed, but I cannot be ok with getting robbed of this to.  I cannot fathom how I will be able to do this with anyone but him even though I think everyone we know has volunteered.  It’s just not the same.  As always, we’ll wait and see.

My sister-in-law is coming to visit us for the first time here at this house, so we’ve been cleaning and prepping for that.  I hoped to get curtains made for the guest room by then, but really, after two years curtains are a bit superfluous don’t ya think?  I want to maybe try my hand at a process post with those, so it all works out.

I hope you all have a wonderful long weekend.  If you’re lucky enough to be with people you love, enjoy the memories.  If you’re unlucky enough to be stuck with family, well, I feel for ya.  My sister-in-law is having a small case of baby fever, and I’m afraid for my bulging gut.  Good luck out there.

Bum Weekend

I’m so angry.

I’ve been so busy lately.  I’ve been traveling a ton.  Besides my great vacation, I went back home for two weddings and family visiting and hail storm clean up and babysitting and moving boxes.  It was an insane trip.  No rest at all but still good.  I’ve had a baby shower that I got roped into co-hosting.  My direct supervisor retired and I got roped into co-hosting her going away luncheon.  There was a cancelled court appearance for a friend’s custody hearing.  We got a new director at work, and there’s tons of drama associated with that since my co-workers are freaking worthless.  DH and I got huge news that will be forthcoming in the near future.  We had supper with my good friend and co-worker before she moved.  Factor in a hail and farewell for DH’s battalion, two upcoming field trainings, and miscellaneous late work nights/work weekends/work overnights, and there has been no laundry done, no yard mowed, no kitchen cleaned.  I’m SO stressed and ready for a weekend off.

Cut to present–DH ditched me for hanging with the guys last night before I even got home from work.  I was so looking forward to actually talking with my spouse for a change.  I woke up this morning after sleeping in for the first time in a month (!!) to find DH sick with a cold.  Weekend completely scrapped.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but when men get sick it’s like the end of the world.  It drives me nuts.  I don’t get to lay on the couch for three days wallowing in used kleenex and Vicks.  I still have to cook supper and water the plants.  I’m indignant over the double standard.  It’s crap and women should rebel.

Anyway, I spent the day cleaning the shower.  Yay…  Because that’s what I’ve been waiting weeks to do.  DH is too miserable to even want to talk.  It’s supposed to pour the next three days, so I’m going to be stuck inside with sicky face.  And I feel like I was totally ditched on the one good day of the weekend in favor of gross, drunk, single dudes.  I don’t want to be angry at DH, but I’m so frustrated and bummed that my weekend that I’ve waited so long for is ruined.  I’m not good at not taking my emotions out on DH, which I know it absolutely unfair, and his patience with me is non-existent when he’s feeling bad.  Grumping at each other is not exactly what I wanted to be doing.  Hopefully grumping at you will help instead.

Unexpected Side Effects

I know I’m behind a bit, but I just watched Love and Other Drugs.*

That movie is the start of my and DH’s relationship if you change out awkward high school students for all the pretty people.  I didn’t realize that when I sat down to watch.  I thought I was sneaking in a chick flick while DH was gone, but instead I watched my life 10 years ago.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my love story.  It’s mine and beautiful and so not normal for being 17 years old, and I know that.  I feel incredibly lucky and special, but I’m afraid it doesn’t apply anymore.  I know that doesn’t make sense, but watch the movie.  I was a sick person, and as a kid, I struggled with that in a big way.  High school was hard.  I just wanted to blend in and be normal, and having an incurable, indescribable disease did not help with that at all.  I didn’t want to be defined as a sick person, yet I had to come to terms with the fact that I would not get better.  It’s not an easy concept for a teenager.  It was huge for me, so it was a huge factor in the beginning of DH and I’s relationship.

Fast forward to a few months ago, and my sick status has changed.  We’re still waiting for the cards to fall, but things aren’t the same as they were when I was young and stupid.  The thing that was so central to making us us isn’t there anymore.  It’s like when you read about obese people losing a ton of weight, but their minds continue to see themselves as heavy.  My mind hasn’t processed not being sick.  I don’t want to say I miss it.  I don’t.  But learning to be not sick is almost as hard as coming to terms with being incurable.

I haven’t noticed the slightest change in my relationship, and I’m not worried about it.  It honestly didn’t come to mind, but then I watched the movie and remembered the part my sickness played in creating us.  My love story doesn’t apply anymore, and that makes me sad.  Like thinking about to your first date and suddenly realizing you can’t remember every little detail anymore.  You loved it but it’s gone.  The story is still mine, but the wonderful, tender things I fell in love with in DH don’t apply in the same way.  That part of us is gone.

Watch the movie.  It wasn’t bad.  And when you reach the scene where Anne drops the glass, know that I’ve been there in that exact spot and it means the world to her.  It meant the world to me.


*The amount of Anne Hathaway boobage (and I mean whole bub, not some nip slip) is offset only by the amount of Jake Gyllenhaal bum action.  They are really thrown around quite liberally.  Not necessarily complaining, just putting that out there.

Hot And Colds

The in-laws just left this morning, and the hubs and I are glued to the couch sick.  It’s been a busy week.

There’s been no air conditioning at work for over a week and a half, and the summer reading program for kids just started.  It’s like a race between me and three hundred kids to see who can get the crankiest the fastest.

I’ve been wrestling with TriCare on getting a referral for a therapist.  As always, the referral process is cumbersome and slow, but you know, I will be going to a person eventually.  A friend of mine pays out of pocket for her therapist, and I hate hearing her struggle with her mental health versus the cost of care.  It shouldn’t be a factor, and it makes me so thankful for my frustrating, stupid TriCare referral system.  I originally wanted to talk more about that now, but this cold is taking over.

DH surprised me by coming home a couple days early, which was lovely and unexpected.  I don’t know about you, but after a long absence when the phone calls start to drop off, I sometimes daydream that he can’t answer his phone because he’s on a plane coming to see me.  Now that he’s actually delivered once, my daydreams are going to go wild.  Speaking of absences, we got notice for the next deployment.  Boo.

Now back to my kleenex box.  At least there’s AC at home.

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