Anybody have any advice on RSS Feeders?  I need to get one but don’t really know which is best.  Are any easier to use than others?  Any have a nice perk that I can’t get elsewhere?

I don’t know how I feel about essentially signing up for one huge cookie.  Google tracking all the sites and articles I like best?  Hmm…  I know they’re probably already doing that, but this is like rubbing my face in it.  I’m just wasting so much time checking in on everyone.  On the flip side, I enjoy my time on my bloggity buddies’ sites, and I don’t want to lose the flavor of them by reading their posts in a sanitized version elsewhere.

I am stressing way too  much about this…  But let me know if you have any suggestions.


I’ve started back with a new therapist, and I really like her.  We’ve met a few times already, I’ve been meaning to post an update on how the appointment went but things come up–as usual.

Anyhoo… she seems like a super cool lady.  She’s young-ish, which I think I like better.  I’m not ageist or anything, but the last time I tried meeting with an older lady I got a lot of “well, in my 30+ years of practicing…” and that didn’t sit well with me.  We’re both learning about my messed up insides together.  She works a lot with families, so her office has comfy chairs and toys and just feels homey rather than office like.  And because of her emphasis she likes to work in spouses into therapy whenever it’s helpful.  I’ve always felt things would be so much easier if DH could listen in on my meetings, so that sat well.  She works a lot with military families too, so that’s nice.

I guess it’s hard to quantify, but really, I just got good vibe from her.  She seems like someone I can talk to you, which is the whole point really.  I’ve had to fight incredibly hard to work through the insurance process, which I think is actually half the hospital’s fault, so I’m happy to finally make it to a live person at the other end.  It really shouldn’t be this hard to get help, and it makes me sick at how many people don’t end up getting any because they can’t make it through all the crap in the way.  It sends a huge mixed message to military families when more mental health screenings and awareness are being pushed on us from deployments but then it’s so difficult to see someone.  The amount of time I’ve had to take off work and the long line of people I’ve had to re-describe my issues to so I could simply get an appointment to start really talking about what matters is appalling.  Why is it this hard when getting a referral for a heart of stomach doctor is a routine phone call?  Arg!!

So yeah, to end on a happy note (I’m trying to say at least one thing positive when I get on a negative rant), my lady is awesome and I’m super, super optimistic about our work together.  I’m hopeful that I can regain my sense of calm and control and put some sense to the tangled mess my insides feel like right now.

Aren’t I Too Old For This?

I was a military brat growing up, so this is nothing new for me.  It really doesn’t even matter if were or not though.  The big thing with the military and kids is the “trauma” of leaving/making friends.  It’s what everyone asks about.  It’s the huge question that I think every mil brat has gotten asked a hundred times.

But who is worrying about the adults?   I have met some amazing women here who I plan on keeping as life long friends.  They are fantastic, interesting, intelligent, funny people.  They have helped me in ways that they will never fully understand.

And they are moving.

Summer is moving season for most people, and I knew this day would come, but it suuuuucks.  It’s a small Army, they say.  We can write and visit, they say.  Technology makes the world so accessible, they say.  They can shove it because it does not get easier and you don’t outgrow the suckiness that is saying goodbye to friends.  I met one of my best friends two weeks ago, and she’s moving next month.  We’re already planning trips to visit each other later this year because our time together has just been way too short.

This season is playing emotional havoc with me right now.  I don’t know what I’m going to do here by myself without my battle buddies.  Wouldn’t it be easier to sort of age out of the making friends shit cycle?  Or maybe it’d be easier to stay young and be forced to make friends at school forever?  Military issued friends anyone???  I’m open for ideas.

Check Your DVDs!

Someone turned in a DVD today at work missing a disc.  It happens all the time.  Patrons forget to check their DVD player before returning the case.  But this one had the patron’s porn in it.


The new employee freaked out.  It was priceless.  I can’t wait until he comes back to return the missing disc.  It’s going to be so awkward!  There are still some gems about this job. 🙂

July Potpourri

Work is insane right now. Our little library is helping about 13,000 people each month, and we’ve been growing by 2,000 patrons every month this year. That’s a lot of people, and every single one of them come and talks to me at some point. I am just starting to train a new employee to help me out at the front desk, but I don’t know how long she’s going to stay. My spidey sense says going to move on in the near future.

I’m going to vacation soon though! I have to remember to pack my camera… It’s going to be fabulous. I’m going to vacation for the hubs’ block leave. It’s going to be just the two of us. J I’m coming back and leaving again almost immediately to go back home for two family weddings. That is also going to be fabulous, and I’m so excited to see everyone. That reminds me I need to look for wedding gifts… I’m hoping to come back rejuvenated and ready to tackle work again.

I’ve been fighting a migraine all week and it is so not fun.

The Mrs. over at Trying Our Best is having a giveaway from her Etsy shop. I’m a huge supporter of giveaways and Etsy, so check her out if you’ve got time.

My Home My Style magazine is fantastic! We get it at work, and I’m addicted to the quick, easy decorating ideas. I’ve been cruising the second hand stores for a chest of drawers because I want to do this painting/map idea that was in May’s issue. Since summer is moving season I’m hoping I’ll get lucky. And I’m absolutely dying to re-tile someone’s kitchen back splash with those sparkly glass tiles you see everywhere now. My mother is still refusing to cooperate, but I’m going to wear her down.

I’m headed to my new therapist tomorrow afternoon for my first appointment. I’m really, really excited for this one to work out. It’s probably the only time I’ve been excited for a Monday to get here.

Unexpected Side Effects

I know I’m behind a bit, but I just watched Love and Other Drugs.*

That movie is the start of my and DH’s relationship if you change out awkward high school students for all the pretty people.  I didn’t realize that when I sat down to watch.  I thought I was sneaking in a chick flick while DH was gone, but instead I watched my life 10 years ago.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my love story.  It’s mine and beautiful and so not normal for being 17 years old, and I know that.  I feel incredibly lucky and special, but I’m afraid it doesn’t apply anymore.  I know that doesn’t make sense, but watch the movie.  I was a sick person, and as a kid, I struggled with that in a big way.  High school was hard.  I just wanted to blend in and be normal, and having an incurable, indescribable disease did not help with that at all.  I didn’t want to be defined as a sick person, yet I had to come to terms with the fact that I would not get better.  It’s not an easy concept for a teenager.  It was huge for me, so it was a huge factor in the beginning of DH and I’s relationship.

Fast forward to a few months ago, and my sick status has changed.  We’re still waiting for the cards to fall, but things aren’t the same as they were when I was young and stupid.  The thing that was so central to making us us isn’t there anymore.  It’s like when you read about obese people losing a ton of weight, but their minds continue to see themselves as heavy.  My mind hasn’t processed not being sick.  I don’t want to say I miss it.  I don’t.  But learning to be not sick is almost as hard as coming to terms with being incurable.

I haven’t noticed the slightest change in my relationship, and I’m not worried about it.  It honestly didn’t come to mind, but then I watched the movie and remembered the part my sickness played in creating us.  My love story doesn’t apply anymore, and that makes me sad.  Like thinking about to your first date and suddenly realizing you can’t remember every little detail anymore.  You loved it but it’s gone.  The story is still mine, but the wonderful, tender things I fell in love with in DH don’t apply in the same way.  That part of us is gone.

Watch the movie.  It wasn’t bad.  And when you reach the scene where Anne drops the glass, know that I’ve been there in that exact spot and it means the world to her.  It meant the world to me.


*The amount of Anne Hathaway boobage (and I mean whole bub, not some nip slip) is offset only by the amount of Jake Gyllenhaal bum action.  They are really thrown around quite liberally.  Not necessarily complaining, just putting that out there.

Verdict on the Living Cooking

I’ve been playing around with my Living Cookbook software, and I wanted to share a few of my thoughts.

It is one serious program. I don’t know if I would recommend it for the hobby chef. It’s excellent, but unless you’ve got some major league recipes to keep track of, I don’t know if it’s worth the time. It costs about $30 (there is a discount if you buy multiple copies at once), so it’s not a bad option if you want a professional looking cookbook to sell at church or for a FRG.


  • It does open and transfer into other programs like Word well.
  • Every aspect of the layout is customizable.
  • It is possible to insert pictures and even videos.
  • It has calendar, menu planning, and grocery list features, which make the program useful for more than publishing a cookbook.
  • The help and tutorials were obvious and thorough. More than a basic knowledge of computers was still needed however.


  • It isn’t as easy as it looks into extract information from online recipes. It requires a lot of tweaking post transfer to get everything in the appropriate fields.
  • It has an extensive list of ingredients already inputted in the database, which is necessary if you want to utilize the nutrition panel it creates for you. I find it handy, but I have several Latin recipes, and those ingredients aren’t in the database. It is possible to input them yourself, but it requires going to the manufacturer’s website or food label and getting calorie counts and such.
  • The program works like a mixture of a web browser, Word, and Access database, which takes a bit to learn how to move in the program. I’m pretty computer savvy, and this really slowed me up.
  • The recipes you add automatically go into the provided recipe cookbooks until you create a separate one. Who wants Grammy’s holiday bunt cake mixed in with recipes you’ve never even tried before?

Here’s a screenshot of what the finished product looks like.

Didn’t I Just Do This?

Remember Easter?  Remember the big Easter meal and how the Army effed it all up?  Wanna do it again?

I fought so hard to get this holiday weekend off from work.  I usually work every holiday weekend, so every family four-day weekend DH gets as part of the Army’s push to emphasize “how much they care” I spend at work.  I didn’t want to waste another one.  We didn’t have any plans yet, but we were really looking forward to being together.

But that seems to be not in the Army’s best interest.  Arrggg!  I could kick the Army in the nuts right now.

DH was hijacked Thursday night, and I haven’t really seen him since.  I spent the entire day today diving back and forth between the house and his work delivering food and a change of clothes and whatever else arose.  And tomorrow, if I’m lucky, he’ll be home but sleeping off the last few days.  That leaves Monday where he may be home and awake and willing to do something.

And this was specifically designated a family weekend.  Where?!  Where is the family in this weekend?  I’m so frustrated and mad.  I know this is our life, and usually I’m totally on board, but right now I’m lonely and tired and completely wasting my holiday weekend away from my work.  Sometimes eating shitty pizza over a laptop just to be together isn’t good enough.  Sometimes “it’s better than nothing” isn’t good enough.  I know tomorrow I’ll wake up and feel amazingly less grumpy at the world, but until then I’m going to stomp around and slam cupboards…because I can.