Not A Typical Valentine’s Day Rant

Perhaps this is ill timed, but I’ve been working on this for a few days and it just happened to get finished on Valentine’s Day. But I rant because a I’m passionate about my marriage, totally in love with my hubs, and hope that everybody gets so lucky as to find their own bliss.

I’m a huge Food Network fan, and I spend an obscene amount of time listening to it while I’m at home. Giada de Laurentiis has numerous shows now. Everyday Italian is one, and Giada At Home is another. Both are way too fancy for me to attempt, but it all still looks delicious and I catch her shows every now and then.

Anyway, Giada is interviewed in the February edition of Redbook magazine. Part of the interview is her advice for having a successful relationship since she’s been with her husband since 1989. She is quoted as saying:

All men want to be treated like kings in a relationship, and I think if women don’t indulge that sometimes, their men are likely to stray and look for someone who can give that to them.

She also says she tries to be the woman her husband fell in love with twenty years ago, but that isn’t being passed around as much as this quote. Both are receiving harsh criticism around the web.

I wonder how much of the backlash is because Giada is absolutely stunning. She was also born in Rome, so some traditional Italian family values have to be poking up here. But, like most comments in the press, it is chopped and distorted out of context.

But what’s the difference? Are her comments really that bad? I’m certainly not a raging feminist, but I think it’s a majority consensus now that women are perfectly capable of having careers and families and the best marriages attempt to create an equal partnership. Even in this nomadic military lifestyle it was a foregone conclusion that I would work and have my own career. I don’t see Giada’s comments as going against that at all. She travels a ton for her job and works a lot of hours. What’s so bad about coming home and throwing herself just as hard at being a wife and mother?

I wouldn’t place all the blame on women if their husbands cheat—you both gotta want to be there working at your marriage—but I think she has somewhat of a point. It’s not a crime to want to feel special and loved and needed, and that’s a big thing you provide for the other person in a relationship. If you treat your spouse like their any ol’ person you’d meet during your day, you’re not doing a good job of that.

Perhaps my views aren’t popular, and I’m sure I sound like ridiculously conservative 1950s perfect wifey, but I can’t stand to hear all the negative press out there about Giada’s comments. It’s so discouraging to see how such views aren’t tolerated because they seem outdated and unfair to women. When did we get so politically correct and focused on extreme gender equality that it’s a bad and shocking thing to say that you enjoy and try to dote on your spouse? I truly believe that everyone has to find their own specific formula for a successful relationship. Yes, I really, really enjoy making my husband’s lunch for work every day. I get a lot of crap for it at my job though—like I’m trying to be Miss Perfect Betty Crocker. I just like knowing that he’s eating healthy, we’re saving money, and that he thinks of me when he takes his lunch at noon. It’s something small I can do for him that brightens his day. If you try your hardest to do things like this for your husband, and hopefully you’re with someone who is also trying their hardest to do things like this for you, it will all balance out. Isn’t that the point?

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Laura
    Feb 15, 2011 @ 10:48:55

    You know, I somewhat agree with Giada’s quote about men wanting to feel like kings – just like most women want to feel like the queen or the princess, which also agrees with the statement you made about relationships today moving more towards total equality. I believe there needs to be a good balance. I think that we need to indulge our hubbies just like we want them to indulge us sometimes.

    I also agree with your statement about the fact that each couple needs to find their chemistry balance that makes them work to their utmost potential! One thing may work for one couple and turn out to be a train-wreck for another. More of an experiment or theory rather than a recipe or fact.

    Reply

  2. Meg
    Feb 23, 2011 @ 04:44:04

    I do agree with you. I have never thought about what Giada said before, but I do know that my husband likes to feel loved and special just like I do.

    I think Giada was being interviewed and she answered honestly & if that is what works for her marriage, why shouldn’t she share it?
    People are so critical of anything anyone does differently than them…with marriage or parenting or religion. People should be able to be who they are! (as long as they aren’t abusing others or anything else ovbiously deviant)

    Reply

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