Another First

Tonight was my first battalion level meeting for spouses.  Actually it was my first FRG-type meeting period.  I’ve been protesting and loudly grumbling about FRGness since this deployment started.  I didn’t think I needed it.  I’ve been doing great.  I know how to handle long absences.  I’m comfortable with military life.  Seriously, butt out people!

But a lady who lives down the street from me and whose hubby left with my DH wanted a buddy to go with.  Most of the meeting was about child care (which is one of my main issues with these types of meetings) and how to be safe during the upcoming summer vacation season.  Then the Rear D commander for the battalion talked about our guys’ mission and how it’s going and MEETINGS ABOUT RE-DEPLOYMENT BACK HOME.

Sniffle.

Tear.

If I was a high schooler and attached to my cellphone I’d say OMG and toss my hair right here.

I was so proud of the guys.  It was the first time I felt like an integral part of their mission.  I saw the maps and little symbols and me and the other lady found ours and felt so attached to what they are doing over there.

And the re-deployment meetings are already scheduled!  It’s not for a little bit yet, but I can flip my calendar and see a date and time and location where someone will give me information.  Don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes I feel like I could keep doing this deployment thing forever.  I don’t want to at all, but some days are just better than others and stuff isn’t breaking or getting lost and I feel like I’m actually in control of my little slice of life.  Homecoming still seems so far away.  I don’t usually let myself think about it.  But if the big guys at battalion are planning–seriously, I can let myself start daydreaming that this horrible thing is will eventually end.

I was surprised how quickly I jumped on that little nugget.  I was in tears and wanted to giggle and so hopeful for something good for the first time in months.  And I thought I had it all neatly tucked away and was in control and managing this stupid deployment.  Guess I was a big fat wrong on that one.  I’ve just been ignoring how unhappy and sad it makes me.

I feel like I know what I’m doing.  How does this stuff keep catching me so off guard?

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Wiley
    May 26, 2010 @ 05:46:58

    Sometimes just having that date – even when you know it will probably change – can make all the difference in the world. I wish these deployments were easier, too!

    Reply

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