Lonely

On just about every day I’ve had off recently I’ve been running around to various doctors trying to get caught up on all my yearly exams and check ups.  I’ve postponed a few, so I had quite a list.  And the post hospital here doesn’t have much–it’s more like a glorified clinic–so I’ve had to go off post and run around town.  Highly inconvenient, in my opinion.

One of my doctors ordered a test where I had to be put to sleep.  It’s not a huge deal; I’ve had it done before.  But I’ve never been alone before.  We just got here.  I don’t know a ton of people who I feel close enough to to ask them to do that for me.  I knew tons of people would be willing, but I didn’t want a stranger there.

I found out the true definition of lonely that morning.  More than any other time during this stupid deployment, I wanted my DH there to hold my hand.  I’m not scared of needles or hospitals, but it’s scary to be there alone as they’re hooking you up to all the machines.  It’s really scary to wake up without anyone beside your bed.

Two very wonderful women that I trust and love being around helped me out.  I hear I was pretty loopy and chatty on the way home.  I made it though, as mil spouses always seem to do, but it hurt.  I hate always being robbed of those moments with your significant other.  Deployments suck.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Wiley
    May 03, 2010 @ 15:47:47

    😦 Sorry you had to go through that without DH – but well done for getting through it regardless. This life makes us do all sorts of things we wouldn’t choose.

    Deployments sure do suck.

    Reply

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