Deployment: Sharing With The In-Laws

DH got home last week just in time to meet his mother who had decided only a few short days before that she was coming for a visit…without checking on our schedules.  Thankfully DH got come right as we were pulling in from the airport, so I thought I was in the clear.

It turns out that DH came home with bronchitis and a sinus infection, so one long emergency room visit later he got medicine and spent the rest of my MIL’s visit in drug-induced nap.  Oh yay…

The whole thing was no one’s fault, and I’m sounding really negative about the whole thing but the few days went fine.  What irritated me was first, she came practically unannounced.  My husband had been gone, and had he not been crazy ill, I would have wanted to “welcome him home.”  Plus, this is my home with my schedule and there’s a lot that goes into getting ready to go to war.  It would have been nice to be able to rearrange some things before she got here.

Secondly, she came when she did because she “couldn’t handle the real goodbye” that’s coming up.  I was not looking forward to having to deal with a very weepy, uncontrollable woman when he left, but I think it’s totally sucky to back out like that.  Yes, it’s going to be hard, but it’s part of the deal.  It’s going to tear me apart inside, but there’s no way I’d miss it.  What about DH?  As he boards the plane, I want him to know that his loved ones are there waving him off.  But as much as I don’t agree with it, I can be sad on my own terms now.

Thirdly, if I have to hear from my MIL one more time how crappy my furniture is or how she never snoops by takes my things without asking while at the same time being told by DH that I’m being too sensitive–I will scream.  My MIL is a lovely woman, but she has such a strong, self-absorbed personality that really grates on my nerves after a few days.

I needed to vent, but who am I to dictate how a person greaves and prepares for their loved one to be gone?  I think I was more frustrated that my coping was being impacted by someone elses.  It’s easy to forget that I have to share DH with other people when it’s just the two of us here.  The fact is that whatever goodbyes I want have to redone with lots of other people.  And I need to remember that when he comes home, all my happy excitedness will have to be shared and redone with lots of other people too.


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