If Only It Was My Last Deployment

Before we left for the in-law visitation trip, we drove the opposite direction to see my brother come back from his second and final deployment.  YAY!  Super Rad is currently stateside, safe, relatively happy, and counting down the days until his is Army free.

Super Rad landed in the rain just like his first homecoming.  Unlike his first trip, he came home with a much lighter spirit.  This deployment wasn’t nearly as scary as the first because of the draw down.  I’m so glad since he’s getting out of the military in a few months.  Reintegration is tough enough with the military there to provide a routine and mental and medical support.  Being cut loose to get those things on his own would have been so hard.  He’s thinking about going back to college in the fall.  I hope I stay living kind of close so I can drive up and interrupt his partying studying occasionally.

He landed on a Tuesday and by that Saturday, a large chunk of his combat pay had been spent on a new black truck.  I should have given him the bank number for the decorate-my-house charity fund if he needed to spend money that badly.  I guess he’d been dreaming about this truck his whole deployment, so I don’t really blame him.  Being sans wife and kid freed up a lot of cash as well.  Lucky duck.  I can’t wait to see it next month!

His homecoming was bittersweet.  I’m so relieved to have my bubby home safe.  It’s a horrible feeling to live phone call to phone call.  Super Rad and I are pretty close, so I’ve missed his company, witty remarks, and casual smile so much.  I want him to visit me all the time!!  Super Rad’s homecoming was shadowed for me though.  DH is leaving so soon.  I’m angry at the people whose fear is ending when mine is not.  I know it’s automatic, but the war kind of ends when your soldier comes home.  You don’t watch the news as carefully.  You quit subscribing to the newspaper.  You don’t hurdle dining room chairs in your path to get to the phone when it rings.  I’m not saying you don’t care or quit paying attention entirely, but it does become less immediate.  I guess I’m just grumpy that I can’t do that yet.  My fear is growing now that Super Rad is back, and I didn’t even know that was possible.  It chokes the life out of everything already.  And then I was angry at myself for letting these worries interfere with celebrating Super Rad’s homecoming.

Stupid deployments.  They ruin everything even when they’re not around.

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