National Embracing The Suck Month

Military Brat had a good post a few days ago about how September is Suicide Prevention month and National Childhood Cancer month. I think we should add Embracing the Suck month too. I was catching up on my favorite blogs today, and it seems like everyone else is feeling crummy like me right now. It’s approaching six months apart from DH, and I’m feeling it. I need some cuddle time so badly. There’s only so much I can take on my own without recharging my batteries. I realized that no matter whom I’m with and how much I love them, some things only DH can fix. I’m in a perpetual state of loneliness without him. Being around Red’s happy family is making me even gloomier right now. I’m hating the military, hating the separation, and hating that this is only one of many, many more.

Over supper and me grumping over how bad I feel, Red said she didn’t know how I could live such a life. She wouldn’t have the patience. I got a little defensive of my hubby and our life. Most times, I do love the military. I was so excited to live this life and more than once objected to changing our plans and staying civilian. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t hate it too. Everyone is entitled to days where they can’t take it anymore, no matter what they’re doing.

It did make me realize, though, that maybe I was wallowing a bit too long. It’s ok to have a bum day, but I can’t dwell on it. Yes, the separation is horrible. It hurts and my insides are bruised and ready for some custom TLC from DH, but that’s not new. There’s no sense in making it worse on purpose because feeling sad and lonely only amplified is still sad and lonely. I caught myself listening to Stone Sour’s Zzyzx Road over and over and blowing this whole thing out of proportion. I started getting upset and sad about my brother fighting in this war and it spiraled down from there. I love the song, but if it’s going to do that to me, I’m going to have to refrain for awhile.

Subsequently, I’ve decided that military people especially, but really everyone, need an Embracing the Suck month to remind ourselves that this crappy situation we’re in at the moment is exactly why we got into this business in the first place. Our significant others can’t do their job without it, and we are here because we are the strong ones that can take it. It sucks now, but it will end. In the mean time, I’ve decided to do my favorite things. They won’t be exactly perfect because my honey isn’t here to enjoy them with me, but they’re still good and fun. So an excellent thing is reduced to a good thing by his absence. That’s still alright, and it’ll give me something to tell him later.

First on my agenda is making strawberry cake, his favorite. Before I leave Red’s, we’ve also planned peach pie with homemade ice cream. Yum. My inner fat kid is doing a tap dance right now. I’m going to soak up the baby smell too, because the next time I see Baby Red, he won’t be a baby at all. I’m going to my aunt and uncle’s farm next week. I’m also going to buckle down and start writing my thesis. I’m a little excited. This is it. Once I get this sucker finished, I’m done with school. And that’s something to smile about.

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