Operation New Baby…Delayed

Nope.  No baby yet.  We had a false alarm early yesterday morning but are still waiting.  Red’s been in mid-labor since then but isn’t getting past it.  We’ve been walking a lot and running errands to stay busy, but no baby sightings yet.  We did visit the county fair, and Red got me hooked on VFW bingo.  Oh man, I just know I’m going to win the big money playing bingo.

While I’ve been waiting for Operation New Baby to commence, I finished my last class.  Yay!  I’m so happy to have the daily homework side of my degree done.  I’m really on the last stretch of finishing my last few research articles and writing, writing, writing.  I maybe can catch a tiny glimpse of that light at the end of the tunnel now.

Red has been making me drive all over since I got here.  She heard I had my license finally, so she’s been making me practice tons.  Prairieville is light on the traffic side, so I’ve been doing good.  Driving in town with no freak outs or anything.  Go me.

Being around Red and Mr. Red the Giant is making me very, very homesick for DH.  He’s been so attentive and anxious about the baby, I feel a little lonely.  When she starts feeling bad, she wants him and not me.  I guess I’m a little jealous, but I feel more like the third wheel.  I don’t know where to go where I don’t feel like I’m intruding on them.  And it makes me miss those moments with my own hubby.  I’m ready for this long training separation to be over already.  I miss having him around regularly.  This is maybe the toughest part of being apart.  I am less busy, it’s been quite a few months now, and I’m around another lovey couple.  It’s torture.  I walk around feeling like I want to cry, but I want to be giving Red attention and help like a pregnant lady needs.  This time is not about me, but I’m starting to really hurt inside.  I don’t get cell service out here in Prairieville either, so there’s been no texting, no calls, no messages.  Nada.  I might be here for two and a half more weeks.  I’m having DH withdrawls!!

I think this might cure me of my occasional baby fever though.  When I first got here and saw how protective Mr. Red the Giant was to his wife’s belly, I wanted it so badly for myself.  I want to share that with DH.  The longer I’m here though, I don’t want kids.  I want to be with DH again, but our time is so fleeting.  He wouldn’t be able to be there for my belly the same way Red’s hubby is, so I’d be missing the part of the experience I want the most.  And honestly, I don’t want to share right now.  I might get as little as a few weeks with DH before he’s gone again.  Kids in that situation would not be good.  And personally (and I apologize to all moms everywhere), the baby process does not look pretty.  Not much encouragement to jump in on that fun wagon.  I don’t know.  DH and I have been doing a lot of discussing about the topic, especially with deployment schedules coming out.  I don’t know if I want it bad enough to compromise and try to squeeze it in around him being gone.  We concluded more thought was needed.

Hopefully I can report on Baby Red’s arrival in the  next few days.

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