Missin You

I’m plugging away here in Prairieville.  Yesterday I went fishing with Mr. Red the Giant.  Red had school and Baby Red spent the day with Nana.  It was a fun day, even if I only caught one decent sized Perch.  School work…yeah.  That’s been a little tougher to keep up with.  It’s a motivation issue, totally.  I need to get my act together.  I would really rather there be some other way that I could get this done without it, but I’ve wracked my brain and am coming up with nothing.

Really, what’s been occupying my mind is DH.  I miss him.  A lot.  We talked about meeting up over Labor Day, and I got my heart set on it instantly.  Now we aren’t because logically, we don’t have the extra money, and I’m so disappointed.  November seems like so far away.  Since my phone doesn’t work well here, we’ve been trying to use web cams and instant messenger to talk once in awhile.  It’s so hard.  It’s almost worse.  I can see him but can’t hear is voice or snuggle up with him.  It’s torture.  I’m feeling really bummed about our situation.  I’m so, so, so ready to be back with him and doing normal, couple things.  I don’t even know if we classify as a couple right now.  Sigh.

I love you, Honey.  Eventually we’ll get there.

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Baby!

Baby Red arrived Monday afternoon.  The little stinker is happy and healthy and will probably come home tomorrow.  It was an incredibly long day, night, and next day at the hospital, but it’s something I was so happy Red and Mr. Red the Giant let me be a part of.  That being said, I think I’ll hold off repeating the event for a long, long time.  Hehe.  I’m at home today taking care of their dogs and cats so they can relax and enjoy their time.

I’m cooking a welcome home dinner for them tomorrow.  I’m thinking ham and scalloped potatoes with strawberry cake.  Does that say welcome home little baby to you?

Operation New Baby…Delayed

Nope.  No baby yet.  We had a false alarm early yesterday morning but are still waiting.  Red’s been in mid-labor since then but isn’t getting past it.  We’ve been walking a lot and running errands to stay busy, but no baby sightings yet.  We did visit the county fair, and Red got me hooked on VFW bingo.  Oh man, I just know I’m going to win the big money playing bingo.

While I’ve been waiting for Operation New Baby to commence, I finished my last class.  Yay!  I’m so happy to have the daily homework side of my degree done.  I’m really on the last stretch of finishing my last few research articles and writing, writing, writing.  I maybe can catch a tiny glimpse of that light at the end of the tunnel now.

Red has been making me drive all over since I got here.  She heard I had my license finally, so she’s been making me practice tons.  Prairieville is light on the traffic side, so I’ve been doing good.  Driving in town with no freak outs or anything.  Go me.

Being around Red and Mr. Red the Giant is making me very, very homesick for DH.  He’s been so attentive and anxious about the baby, I feel a little lonely.  When she starts feeling bad, she wants him and not me.  I guess I’m a little jealous, but I feel more like the third wheel.  I don’t know where to go where I don’t feel like I’m intruding on them.  And it makes me miss those moments with my own hubby.  I’m ready for this long training separation to be over already.  I miss having him around regularly.  This is maybe the toughest part of being apart.  I am less busy, it’s been quite a few months now, and I’m around another lovey couple.  It’s torture.  I walk around feeling like I want to cry, but I want to be giving Red attention and help like a pregnant lady needs.  This time is not about me, but I’m starting to really hurt inside.  I don’t get cell service out here in Prairieville either, so there’s been no texting, no calls, no messages.  Nada.  I might be here for two and a half more weeks.  I’m having DH withdrawls!!

I think this might cure me of my occasional baby fever though.  When I first got here and saw how protective Mr. Red the Giant was to his wife’s belly, I wanted it so badly for myself.  I want to share that with DH.  The longer I’m here though, I don’t want kids.  I want to be with DH again, but our time is so fleeting.  He wouldn’t be able to be there for my belly the same way Red’s hubby is, so I’d be missing the part of the experience I want the most.  And honestly, I don’t want to share right now.  I might get as little as a few weeks with DH before he’s gone again.  Kids in that situation would not be good.  And personally (and I apologize to all moms everywhere), the baby process does not look pretty.  Not much encouragement to jump in on that fun wagon.  I don’t know.  DH and I have been doing a lot of discussing about the topic, especially with deployment schedules coming out.  I don’t know if I want it bad enough to compromise and try to squeeze it in around him being gone.  We concluded more thought was needed.

Hopefully I can report on Baby Red’s arrival in the  next few days.

Waiting for Baby Red

Just wanted to say that I’m at Red’s.  Internet is a little spotty right now, so when I get it, I’ve been focusing on homework.  Red and Mr. Red the Giant work nights, so my days have been super skewed.  I’m tired and hungry most of the time.  We’re not going much of anything.  Waiting on Baby Red.  Any day now…

I want to say more about DH, my grandparents, and being here in Prairieville, but it’ll have to wait.  Next week should be better.

Booya!

I passed.  I’m a legal, unaccompanied driver.

I only had one panic attack leaving the house this morning.  I figured I’d have at least one, so that’s not too bad.  I am not really super excited about the whole thing.  I’m sad that my life as a non-driver is coming to an end.  It feels a little like I compromised on my priciples, but I guess I’m alright with that because I didn’t want to hurt DH’s career.  I’m glad it went fairly uneventfully.  I’m even more glad that I NEVER HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN!!

DH says he’s proud of me.  That’s what counts.

Scariest (Perhaps Stupidest) Thing Ever

I’m attempting the road test tomorrow for my driver’s license.  I am scared shitless and my worry meter just jumped about 600 rpms.  Part of me doesn’t care what the results are.  Part of me doesn’t want to pass because then I can remain my non-driving self and truely say this whole driving thing isn’t for me.  Part of me wants this whole crappy thing to get overwith so I never, ever have to do it again.  Aaagggghhhhhh!!  I’m going to do this with my dad, whom I have only driven with once in my whole life and I was 14.

 

If I survive this, it will be the most scariest thing I have ever done.

A Distraction From Research

Yesterday was my last day reseraching.  Thank goodness!  Unfortunately it wasn’t as productive as I would have liked, and it was all around a frustrating, long day.  Fan-flippin-tastic, but I’m done with the hard stuff.  Here’s the update:

  1. Secondary sources (monographs) from the library–collected, 35-40% notes taken
  2. Secondary sources (journal articles) from scholarly databases–collected, 30-40% notes taken
  3. Primary sources @ Smithsonian Postal Archives–done!
  4. Primary sources @ National Archives (Civil War papers)–done!
  5. Primary sources @ National Archives (Postal Deptartment papers)–done!
  6. Primary sources @ National Archives (Legislative papers)–done!
  7. Secondary sources @ National Archives (Government serial set)–99% completed

On a completely unrelated topic, I bought my first piece of true art yesterday.  I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile, and I don’t exactly have the money for it, but I didn’t want to pass it up.  It’s by a Mongolian artists, Damba Tsolmon.  He paints traditionally Mongolian scenes of nomadic, Asian life.  My painting has a warrior on a horse.  It looks similar to this:

painting

It’s on beige-ish linen.  Gorgeous.  I thought it was a nice way to illustrate a little the military historian in me.  (Man, I’m a nerd.)  One day, I’d like to get at least one more as a partner for it, but I need more money before I do that.  When I get a bedroom, I want to decorate it with subtle Asian touches.  Nothing fancy.  I see it in greys and blues, and hopefully it’ll be a minimalistist, meditative, serene place.  I wanted some art in there too.  In military housing, it’ll be interesting to see how much of that comes true.  I’ve got nothing but time to dream at this point!

Next week is my last week of regular classes, I need to finish my last bit of research for this honkin’ thesis, and I’m traveling to see my grandparents and Red.  Let’s just say I’m so excited about this painting…I’m going to need a good nap after everything else.

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