Last day of work

Yesterday was my last day of work, and I’m only a little bummed.  I met some really awesome people that I’m going to miss seeing everyday, but I had only worked there for a month and a half, so it’s hard to miss the job too much.  It was also just a regular retail job, so I never got very excited about it.  I did this type of job on school breaks during my undergrad and really liked it.  I had a real “grown up” job after I graduated and loved it too, but I went back to the part time, no-experience-necessary-type jobs because with DH being active duty, I could afford to focus on my grad school work more.  I was surprised at how much I disliked the hourly, retail job when I went back!  Not that I feel it’s beneath me (In this economy, I’m happy for any job.), but the mindless, no-skill-required nature was torture.  I’m used to focusing on bigger goals than this weekend’s sale.

I’m glad I did it though.  We only have one car, and for all intents and purposes I don’t drive, so I took the bus to work.  It was about a twenty minute walk to the bus stop, which was a little long, but I enjoyed the excercise and quite time to think.  Managing the commute helped me to feel independent on my own terms.  I wasn’t dependent upon DH to drop me off, although he often picked me up at night, and I wasn’t forced to drive and battle traffic.  True, a ten minute drive turned into an hour long bus ordeal, but that didn’t bother me.

I met people who I liked at work, which is an accomplishment for me as well.  I take shyness to a whole nother level.  Being social is still a skill that I’m working on, and since DH’s friends are not quite my taste, it’s hard to meet people and go out.  It’s something I’m working on, but it’s so hard and so slow.

To frustrate matters, the military doesn’t work on my timeline.  I know…gasp!  Shocking, right?  When DH leaves for training or deployments, it leaves me very isolated and lonely feeling.  Making sure I feel independent and that life goes on when we’re apart is a huge struggle.  Since he helps me a lot with my mental issues, I also feel like my only support is abandoning me.  I hate feeling rushed with anything that I’m not ready to do, and the military certainly isn’t helping with that.  But each time I can find my own path, even if it’s an hour long bus commute to four hours of retail work, I’m building my confidence.  I worry a shred less about being able to recreate a similar network in a new location.  I’ll catch up one bus fare at a time.

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